To celebrate the one month birthday of my blog (and the fact it was my birthday last week), I wanted to just share some of my thoughts on birthdays and why we make such a big deal out of them (or not in some cases).
I’ve been very lucky this year with my friends, family and boyfriend wanting to spend time with me and spoil me, but I couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty. My mum and dad, 28 years ago, put in all the effort when I was born and it was their special day – they got the bundle of joy that is me! But, every year since that day, they have showered me in presents to celebrate the fact I’m still alive? – that they’ve managed to keep me alive for another year? Or that it was the day the world gained another human, that was theirs? It sounds a bit cynical, I know, but now I’m getting older it got me thinking.
I lost my mum 10 years ago to cancer, and can’t help wanting to thank her on my birthday for the 9 months of pregnancy, the body changes, the surgery and scars, the sleepless nights she went through just to bring me in to the world and give me the quality of life that I’ve had. Surely, I should be giving my parents presents on my birthday, not the other way round? Don’t get me wrong, I love a good present and being made to feel special, but as I get older there seems to be something missing each year. What that is though, I don’t know.
As I get older, I seem to become more grateful but also far more selfish and picky. The effort my friends put in to my birthday this year was overwhelming that I feel like I don’t deserve such wonderful friends, but I know I must be doing something right if they want to stick around. I am so grateful for what they did, but it’s made me look at my other ‘close friends’ who just put a post up on my Facebook wall as they got a reminder, and didn’t even text me… are they actually friends, or have we drifted apart? Damn you Facebook, I never would have questioned those friendships before that. But, does a Facebook post define a friendship or am I over thinking it? I don’t hold grudges, it’s only Facebook, but it just adds another question to the list!
My final birthday thought, is why do people hate birthdays? It’s one day of the year where people are obliged to be nice to you (I have no idea why, but it’s just the way), you get presents (and as you get older, they tend to get better I think!), and you get a nice meal usually. My boyfriend and I are total opposites with birthdays, he hates his, I am like an excited kid. I just don’t get the total opposite moods on the day. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that some people don’t like the pressure to be happy, or smile as they open yet another pair of socks and act like it’s the best thing ever, but it’s the only day of the year that’s about you, so enjoy it!
Just a quick mind dump, but, I’d be interested in knowing your thoughts.